I admit it. I don’t like weddings.
In theory, I suppose I do, because I’m happy for my friends/relatives/what have you. On the other hand, I hate all the baggage weddings bring. The exorbitant costs associated with them, the expectations, the ridiculous ceremonies involved (bouquet and garter toss), and how no one ever seems to have anything positive to say about the experience afterward. Yes, and I realize the implications of my having just complained about that.
But I’ve asked my parents multiple times about their own wedding, and they uniformly complain about their parents, who were, by all accounts, incredible pains throughout the whole event. Reminiscences about other weddings usually invoke the same kind of attitude: go right to the negative. Some in my circle don’t even bother with the event and just whine about wedding guests pre-emptively. Which is also annoying.
Given all that, I thought I’d post a few tips on how to fondly remember the events and make the whole experience generally a positive one.
1. Leave your gossip at the door! Seriously… you’re classier than that.
2. If you have to remember something you’d rather not (like an ex), try to keep the venom at a minimum. This is a joyful event.
3. Be helpful wherever possible. That might just mean hanging out in the restroom while Grandma’s in there, to insure she gets out safely and doesn’t slip on a paper towel. You don’t have to move the stars.
4. Meet people. It’s trickier than it sounds, admittedly, but is worth it. This is where you make those fond memories.
5. Take pictures but don’t be obnoxious. If the word “sacrilege” comes up in regard to photos during the ceremony; put the camera away.
6. Always say “thank you.” Just like in Kindergarten.
All that being said, I have to congratulate the bride and groom whose wedding I just attended. Theirs was easily the best-behaved crowd I’ve come across. Bravo.